
Budgets aren't boring
And here’s exactly why you should get one.
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This Valentines you’re finding your one true love, spending absolutely nothing on them and getting $500 for it
Roses are red, violets are blue, and Valentine's Day is one huge consumerist holiday out to exploit your feelings in exchange for your own money. Charming.
We know that one days worth of teddy bears, roses, chocolates and a sickening customized mug isn’t going to do anything for our relationship. Other than make a dent in joint savings, perhaps.
The corporations though, they have no shame and they know your weak spots – Amazon has been messaging you twice as much. Dominos has made a combo just for you (for $20). And McDonald’s have finally fixed their ice cream machine and reckon you need some.
You’re over it. You deserve more than deceit and a McFlurry.
This Valentines, find your one true love by typing ‘Tell me a love story’ to Cleo.
She’ll take you through a whirlwind romance and you decide your fate – will you find the love of your life and $500, or throw your money at the f*ckboys?
Tweet your love from the rooftops and share your story with the world (on Instagram) and $500 could be yours.
And here’s exactly why you should get one.
Look, it’s a psychologically weird time right now. I haven’t spoken to a new human in three weeks, I’ve downloaded TikTok, and I’m still not drinking enough water.
Sure, it's been a while since any of us have been on a night out that has stretched further than our own balconies, but old habits die hard. We're gonna be out again soon and just incase you've forgotten the grave financial risks that come with a piss-up, here are some of the traps you’ve walked into after a frozen margarita, or six.