July 24, 2020
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General

You had a go at roasting like Cleo

Harder than it looks, right? If there’s one thing we know you love about Cleo, it’s her devastating roasts. Bunch of sadists. We’re always expanding Cleo’s vocabulary and thought who better to involve than you. You made roast happen after all.

Story time

Cleo is AI. She blipped back in Feb 2019.

She created this unintentionally savage one-liner herself:

Congrats you’ve saved £0! Double that and you could save £0 by next month!

By failing to exclude users who had saved nothing, Cleo gleefully sent this supportive message to quite literally everyone who had ever signed up to her autosave feature. And you loved it. You wouldn’t stop retweeting it. We ended up writing Roast mode because you wouldn’t stop asking us to.

Now history is out of the way, here’s what happened when we opened up the floor to you on Instagram. It’s not easy competing with AI.

Skylar Hawkins said to their mate “Wish I had had as much money as you have forehead” which comes in as a personal favourite for its chin-drop effect alone.

Millenial money UK said “You’ve got more likes on your profile pic than $‘s in your emergency fund” which doubles as both rude and weirdly complementary, so hats off.

Donald said "If you think a horoscope tells you what your future holds, you should try looking at your bank statement" which is incredibly clever and we will be using. Cheers Donald. Cuts close.

Julian gave a "Your bank account is sadder than your existence" which at first was pretty mic drop. With further thought it’s huge mic drop. Imagine how impressive it would be to have a bank account sadder than your existence right now. 2020, you really are something.

Zoe came for her friend with "If you had a dollar for every Cm of your height you’d still be on $0" which is actually impossible unless their mate is a piece of paper or something.

In huge meta energy, Sam went in on Instagram about his mate's Instagram use with "If only you saved as much as you posted on Instagram". Gotta play the algorithm Sam. Gotta play the algorithm.

Go on, give us what you've got on Twitter for the chance to get your words into Cleo's language. There's still time.

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Building Credit

Understanding Your Credit Score: How Does this Junk Work Anyway?

Alright y'all, ready for some boring adult talk? No? Too bad, it’s important! On the real though, even though nobody really likes credit scores, we have to adhere to some unavoidable societal norms and everything and this is one of those very unavoidable ones. Understanding your credit score is by no means the easiest endeavour, but once you have a good handle on it, your financial life will be a lot easier. Today in the Cleo blog, we’ll break down how these scores work, what they’re used for, how they’re calculated, and how you can raise them. You ready to get this over with? Top off that coffee and let's do it to it.

Thursday, November 12, 2020
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Screenshot of the chat screen and paycheck breakdown feature