Ready for hard truths?
Black Friday is bullsh*t.
So we’re boycotting the whole thing. Inviting you. And giving one of you $500 for it. Sounds better than a Black Friday deal, right? Read on.
Let's start at the beginning... why the hell are we telling you to Boycott?
We’re not gonna sit back and watch you get taken advantage of by billionaires who don’t need your money. Black Friday is one big consumerist dance that targets those who can’t afford to spend. And encourages them to do so more than ever (please do name-drop the brand/s giving you grief here).
How? By dressing all-year-round discounts up for the ‘holiday’.
Examples of disgusting behaviour:
- Most of the 'deals' (9/10. Ouch) can be found at the same price or cheaper within six months of Black Friday. Yep, that includes before as well. They think they fooled us 👋
- Amazon shout about their thousands of price reductions. But guess what their threshold for 'reduction' is? - Anything vaguely acceptable and ethical... - Wrong. It's 1¢. They can drop something by that menial amount and push it as a bargain. That's the kind of sad marketing bullsh*t we never want to be involved in.
- You've got billionaires trying to get you lot to spend millions. A whole budget around manipulating your behaviour. Gross. 40% of you reported overspending on Black Friday. And it's not your fault. But you can save yourself now.
- The brands have missed out by using FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). Putting a load of energy into a short period of time triggers us psychologically – The Urgency. The opportunity. No. The same deals (or better) will be there very soon... literally on Monday aka cyber Monday, also sales the day after Christmas etc.
Oh and finally, here's an image we made to put things into perspective:
So, now we're done with the crap, what do you need to do to boycott (and possibly get yourself $500)?
Absolutely nothing. Go cold turkey on Black Friday and you’re automatically in the running for $500.
But, the logistics:
You're right, we do need to be able to see your spending to know that you're not (and give one of you that $500). Here's a step by step on that bit:
- Download Cleo,
- Connect your bank account.
- If you want to hedge your bets, type "boycott Black Friday" to Cleo and see if you can make it through the Black Friday practice round.
- That's it. Lie back. Go cold turkey and spend nothing Friday 27th November 2020 (groceries, gas etc aside, you gotta eat). Manage it and you're automatically in the $500 prize draw (winner announced on Monday 30th November 2020).
Step 5: Want more? Talk to us. Tell us how you're doing, how you're doing it or who is tempting you. We'll be handing out spot prizes to the triers.
Wanna practice run?
We know it’s hard. The Billionaires spend millions to make sure that you do too. DW, Cleo’s got a plan to make sure you feel ready to resist come Friday. Here’s what’s gonna happen:
What’s one of the only other things that rivals the temptation level of a sweet looking deal? A sweet looking 90s boy band, of course. All week Cleo will be pairing some of your favourite purchases with a boyband who, yep, you guessed it, will be dripping wet with artificial rain and waving you over to spend.
Your job? R e s i s t.
Painstaking, yes. But well worth it come Friday when your willpower is stronger than a Backstreet Boys quiff.
It’s gonna be hard work, but you are going to beat the billionaires and go cold turkey this Black Friday. If not for sense, for that $500 prize.
Ready?
